The Life of Savages

There is always something circulating on Facebook and recently it was a set of questions to ask your child.  Here are Lily’s answers.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?  do things right

2. What makes mommy happy?  to be obedient

3. What makes mommy sad?  if I disobey

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?  if she says something funny or reads a funny story like I Wanna Iguana

5. What was your mommy like as a child?  like me

6. How old is your mommy? (refrains from answering and squints her eyes)

7. How tall is your mommy?  [reaches way above her head] very tall!

8. What is her favorite thing to do?  brush my hair (ha! Not hardly)

9. What does your mommy do when you’re not around?  sleep

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?  for having me (but of course)

11. What is your mommy really good at?  at being sweet to me 

12. What is your mommy not very good at?  when you pick my ears (i.e. cleans her ears and she screams bloody murder)

13. What does mommy do for a job?  wash the dishes (excuse me!)

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?  chicken, carrots and broccoli  (interesting)

15. What makes you proud of your mommy? when I eat all my dinner

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?  Alice in Wonderland (yes, I know I can be a bit impertinent)

17. What do you and your mommy do together?  sing – like the  Ariel song

18. How are you and your mommy the same?  we both have blue eyes

19. How are you and your mommy different?  well, like I am 3 years old. . . (duh)

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?  because God made me (so she has too – LOL!)

21. Where is your mommy’s favorite place to go?  dance class (score!)

And now for the random picture of the day. . . 

At least someone still loves old Dixie

The fact that we are about to have a few days of 60ish weather is giving me hope that we are moving out of the dreary, city winter.  What better way to celebrate than with some CUTENESS!!!!!!!

Favorite Lily quote of the day:  ”I know exactly what you mean, Mom!”

(Well, Hallelujah someone does!)

Almost 4 years old!

1.  So, I am going to piggy-back on Lee’s post about our Brothers Karamazov reading adventure to also add that I am so glad we are doing this.  As much as people gripe and moan about Facebook being a time wasting entity, this is one proof that when used well it bears good fruit.  Lee and I have been in more consistent contact since getting on Facebook and now we are both pursuing a (rather lengthy) goal together.  Here is a quote that I liked. . . I am sure there will be many more but I am only about 120 pages into a 700 page book.

 ”. . . for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams.  Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all.  Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage.  But active love is labor and fortitude, and for some people  too, perhaps a complete science.”

2.  Being a pregnant woman currently, I just really enjoyed what one photographer husband did with his pregnant wife.  It is creative but not pretentious (maybe just a tad)  or obnoxious (as is sooooooo common with any pregnancy photos).  Maybe you will find it as amusing as I did.

3.  Speaking of being pregnant. . . I just could not be more excited when I think about adding a new little person/personality to the family.  Everyday I wonder about this person – especially after traversing 4 years with Lily and seeing that so much of who she is today was very very present even during her first week.  I have, also, been pondering the things that I will modify or try to do different this time, but I am very sure that there is no one formula for raising a child.  This is exactly what I want to stay away from – I don’t want my children to be just alike or fit into any preconceived mold that I might have for them.  I think this limits us both.  

My number one rule, though, is – to put it bluntly – I don’t take crap from ANYONE when it comes to advice or parenting decisions.  Well, let me clarify what that looks like – Southern style.  It means that everyone is always giving their opinions about what one ought to do with a child or what that child should be doing (enter my grandmother Amagay who made my mom’s life hell).  I smile sweetly, nod, make a little small talk – and then do my own thing, even if no one understands or agrees at first.  When it comes to my child/children, I have my most Valarie Prigg (mom) moments.  I am tough.  I am a fighter.  I have already read the book.  I go with science or I go with my gut (my choice).  I have reasons.  I know my child the best. . . so STEP OFF!  Not that I don’t seek advice and feedback from others – I do all the time. . . but it is just that. . . well. . .for instance, I have a memory of being at the dinner table with my mom, dad and his parents.  I must have been 4 or under because my parents were still together.  My grandmother made some type of bean that I was NOT interested in eating.  My mom decided that was fine, but I remember my grandmother snidely interjecting her comments about my mom’s parenting.  I do not remember what was said, but I remember feeling like my mom stood up for US and I felt so relieved and loved.  It wasn’t really about the beans (I mean she probably should have made me at least try them).  It was something bigger. . . thus my number one rule.

I, also, think that being a good parent is the hardest thing in the world – really.  The days that I would be working away from Lily, though emotionally were very hard, in reality they were the easiest days of all.  I think two working parents in a family are much more common here than in the South.  I have a friend, who is a doctor at the children’s hospital, say that sometimes she is envious of my “stay-at-home” life.  But I will tell you staying home brings me to my knees – especially since I am less concerned with molding behavior than shaping a little heart.  That is something that I cannot do in my own strength.  It is a task that I must lean on the Lord for at every turn.  

It is really really hard work and most of the time I am more disappointed with what I see in myself than what I see in Lily.  It is not enough to have a grand vision for what you know life could be (which is my strength).  It is another thing altogether to really get down and do the dirty work (and face the music), in my heart and with my child, that it requires in the daily tedium of life.  Some days it is exhilarating - other days I need to bust out the chocolate ice cream, but I would not trade it for anything – even if it came to me eating Ramen Noodles everyday or continuing to drive my beater car for the rest of my life.

Stay-at-home moms teach many lessons - like how to chew gum without swallowing

I love a good haircut.  It makes me feel all new. . .I also get the same feeling when I reorganize a closet!  The funny part about this time is that I tried a new salon, because I was not happy with Lily’s hair last time, and the lady took about 15 minutes to cut my hair and at least an hour to cut Lily’s.  I was breathing down the lady’s neck the ENTIRE time and giving instructions.  I am sure she hated me BUT I don’t care!  I am a satisfied customer.  Here is the final product.  This is a BAAAADDDD picture but you can see Lily’s oh so cute style!

all the damage hidden away

pre-hair fiasco. . .my mischievous little Madeline.

My mom is convinced that Lily has just gotten cabin fever and is bored. . . .I don’t know WHAT has gotten into my child.  

Recap:

Episode 1:  water and soap all over bathroom after pee accident (okay, whatever)

Episode 2:  Lipstick all over face and doll (ummm. . .whatever)

Episode 3:  Baby Powder extravaganza (okay, I don’t think so)

Episode 4:  body lotion all over her body and face, oh, and she “drew” me a picture on her mirror with lotion too (gee, thanks)

Episode 5&6:  Permanent marker scribbled all over her face, hands, arms, legs and feet (not coming out even with lemon juice).  Attempting to “style” her hair with a combo of my hair products and hand sanitizer which made her hair fall out in chunks. . . highly traumatic for both of us – can’t even begin to recount the drama of this story.  Trevor and I were both running around trying to figure out what the heck happened.  She was just screaming that she didn’t want to have short hair.   These last two episodes took place during the span of a 15 minute phone conversation.

I am trying to let these things roll off my back even though they mark and huge departure from Lily’s previous behavior.  She has not become defiant or outright disobedient at other times.  She remains pleasant and easy to manage except she seems to have developed a penchant for bodily experimentation.  I am still not sure what to make of it all.  This is when having a “quiet” child becomes a disadvantage.  She is able to pull all these things off quickly and very quietly.

[sigh]

I know this blog has turned into Lily story time but considering that most of my readers are family members and that Lily stuff makes up the majority of my life. . . .I give in to it.  So, I continue.  Yesterday, we went over to our good friends’ house.  We were all sitting down to lunch and my friend Rebecca begins to tell me this story of how her daughter, Ella, was playing at a friend’s house with two other little girls.  Apparently, one of the little girls is quite mischievous.  This little girl went and found baby powder out of a younger sibling’s room and ended up dumping it on Ella’s head and other places I guess.  Rebecca ends this story with, “Can you believe that?  Lily would NEVER do something like that!”  I laugh and agree.

Well, last night (the same day as the above story was told) Brian and I went into Lily’s room to find that she had indeed found baby powder and dumped it ALL over EVERYTHING in her room.  I cannot even begin to tell you what a massive undertaking the clean-up was.  What amazes me is that, obviously, Lily was listening to the conversation and decided since no one thought she WOULD do it that maybe she SHOULD try it out.  The other part that amazes me is that I do not use baby powder or even know where it would be readily available in our house.  But Lily remembered that my mom brought some at Christmas and left it here in the back of the bathroom cabinet. Lily had to purposefully go dig it out and twist to open it.  I’ll admit it; I am impressed.  This took a lot of calculation.  Unfortunately for her, this extensive calculation (evident in some other areas as well) did land her some discipline for this incident.  It looks like I am not going to be able to trust her so blindly to play “quietly” in her room as she has always done so. . . angelically.

a bit of the madness

Can I ramble a bit?  Well, over here we have begun to TRY and think of possible names for this baby. We do not know the gender yet, but we are so directionless that I felt it best to begin batting names around – batting is just what happens too.  I throw one out to Brian; he bats it down.  Usually, it is for a good reason but still. . . .it is such a different process than naming Lily.  I think it took us all of 10 minutes at 11 weeks pregnant.  It had everything we wanted:  family significance, sweetness, and simplicity.  Though we did eventually come up with a boy option, we were never really serious about it like we were about Lily – good thing she turned out to be a girl.

Today is a new day.  We do have some boy names that we agree on as possibilities but girl names. . . .another story.  Mom and I have had many conversations and a bazillion emails throwing names back and forth – some of them good – but nothing every really sticks.  There is always something missing.  She is my best sounding board at this point.  Brian usually just says, “oh no!”  My favorite name, so far, he is just set against so I am letting it go, I think. . . . 

But lo and behold, last night, we started going through some lists just for ideas and we stumbled upon one that we both like- AMAZING.  Today, I am letting it roll around in my mind to see if it sticks and I will admit it is feeling pretty sticky.   It has no family significance, it is simple and sweet but it is a departure from what I expected.  It is very different – though, after Lily all of a sudden becoming so popular, I am open to it in a way that I might not have been before.

So, for you moms out there – How did you come up with your child’s name?  What were your criteria?  Did someone have to “win” or did you both agree easily?  Do you have any suggestions for me?

And just for a random belly update – here it is below.  I look totally gross as I had just come from ballet and was still in the sweaty/nasty, pre-shower phase but I had a tighter shirt on, so I took advantage of it.

17 weeks