Yesterday it really hit me. It started two days ago when I was hanging out with a friend who is also pregnant. She was showing me some bowls with lids that she used when she made her own baby food. I have no idea why the words “baby food” woke me up like they did but. . . I am going to have another baby – WOAH! I guess with all the drama leading up to this pregnancy and with the beginning of the pregnancy itself, I had not let myself really begin to envision another baby.
On one hand, I know the work that this entails – lots of around the clock breastfeeding, lots of “blow-out” laundry, being sleepy and thinking about sleep a lot, crying from someone with whom I cannot reason, my body out of whack etc. etc. etc. I will admit I am now used to the cushy life – not that Lily isn’t very difficult at times but for the most part a lot of my hard work over the last four years is really paying off. In so many ways I returned fully to “my” life - especially with dancing and performing. I am gearing up to kiss it all goodbye for awhile. . . but even though I know the sacrifices involved (at least with the way I am choosing to raise my children), this time I know the joy also.
Last night, Brian and I sat on the couch and watched my tummy roll. This baby girl is much more subtle than Lily was so we have to take advantage of those big movement times when they happen. We did not talk about names or things we need to do or get before the baby comes – we just sat there dreaming of another little girl running around after Lily. I think the only word that really sums it up is – grateful. At our home group last night, there was another baby girl, cooing up a storm and I watched Brian stare at her for awhile and then catch my eye. I think it has really hit him too.
