We have this photo of Lily that is just so random but so special. People always comment on it. At the time I didn’t think I would like anything the photographer was doing but he proved me wrong. I was trying to recreate the scene (sort of) with Susannah but I didn’t do so well. She was much more intent on eating her hands the whole time.
This is Lily in "the" photo
Below are my attempts with Susannah
Susannah - Take 1
Take 2. . .oh nevermind
Just for fun - Lily at the same age as S. above
Here are just a few more preschool song lyrics that have delighted me!
The themes this week of course relate to Halloween.
(to a bluesy tune) “Noooo mooore sugar rushin’ to my head. Give me the vitamins – the healthy stuff instead. . . “
(to a cheery march tune) “There were ghosties sitting on posties eating buttered toasties. . . “
Last week she came home reciting Macbeth – “Bubble bubble boil and trouble. Fire burn and caldron bubble” Now I am not a usual proponent of ghosts and witches (okay, I am still not) but these songs are really cute and creative.
I had no idea preschool could be so stimulating for. . . me!
Also, this year, on Halloween, Lily will continue her long obsession with Alice in Wonderland and dress as Alice. This was her first very long chapter book that we read earlier this year. She got the bug and since then we have read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Magician’s Nephew and Wizard of Oz – to name a few. She, also, decided that Susannah should dress up as the Duchess’ baby that turns to a pig. So I have been trying to formulate a pig costume for the baby. . .We shall see!
As always, Halloween in Philly is the best time to meet neighbors and begin relationships that you can build on for the rest of the year. The reason is that here everyone sits outside on their stoop to give out candy – and since the houses are all connected, there are lots of people sitting out looking for connections. Every year I have been really blessed by this! So even though I am not for ghosts and witches, I am very much for community building!
Halloween pictures to come!
I was pulling for the baby to be a polar bear but I got vetoed. . .pig she will be.
This is such a weird time. All the family has come and gone. All the friends have brought the wonderful meals and enjoyed the novelty of the new baby and have receded to the background.
I remember this time right after I had Lily.
It lasted a really really long time. . .until Rebecca came. Before her I really only had one mom friend in town – Karen. I say one, but I did have several -only Karen, though, was as wide open as I was during the day. Of course we already had a long history of friendship together, so even just sitting around nursing babies or doing mundane tasks like laundry together was so encouraging and supportive.
This time I thought I had covered all my bases. Now, I actually have a much larger group of friends with whom I have good community. I know many who I can call if I need something. So why am I here again? I realize that it is one thing to have good friends or at least people that you really like and probably like you a lot too. It is another thing to have a friend with whom you can just be -or just invite yourself over or just sit around with no plan – someone that you can see easily and also regularly. When you have one little person who is completely dependent on you, there is not much emotional energy left to pursue get-togethers that take a lot of effort. It requires real commitment to a person (and availability) to be at that level of comfort and I think this stage of life does not lend itself to forging those commitments like times past. So, even though I have a larger circle of friends now, I don’t have a “Karen” person, so somedays it feels like I have no one.
I am getting out more. I see people at church. I see my dance friends. I talk to preschool moms and the girl that works at the coffee shop. There are a lot of people around everyday that I am very thankful for – and I am not sad when I write this. I think loneliness and sadness are very different though they can overlap. For an extrovert like me, loneliness comes pretty quickly while it takes A LOT to really get me sad.
In the midst of this phase, I am very thankful for old friends who are out of town. I feel those real connections that I desire and they are a huge, daily encouragement. Even just this week the Lord has used people faraway to fulfill that desire to be close.
the ongoing Facebook thread with the Musketeers – the highs and lows -sharing it as a group as we always have
the package from Ginger – all the words and gifts just evidencing how much she knows me – even seeing her handwriting was somehow a comfort
seeing the Willetts and just enjoying that level of understanding and comfort that only comes from a shared vision of how to do life – oh and living together
texting with Lee – tiny, bite-sized notes that feel fuller because of that spiritual connection that we have always had.
Add all this to a smiley baby and things keep moving on pretty well.
I can already tell that Susannah is going to bring so much joy to my life. There is such an ease about her that I cannot explain yet. Yes, she is easy but that is not what I am talking about. There is something about her personality that feels so warm. Lily, also, is a thoughtful companion. She has begun to turn her inward sensitivity outward. A quality that made her difficult as a baby is becoming her greatest strength as she demonstrates great attentiveness in her relationships with me and her sister especially.
So the lonely phase sets in again but life is still rich in many blessings. It is good to remind myself of that when I grow weary of this part.
This is Lily nursing her baby using her Alice in Wonderland apron for her “hooter hider” (this is what she said). I really hope she doesn’t say the word hooter at school.
Now I get it.
Why women loooooovve having babies and loooooove the baby stage. Before having Susannah I would NOT have considered myself in that category. I loooooove Lily but did not particularly appreciate the tiny baby stage just in itself. It was intense and she was a tough cookie or rather. . .sensitive. But now I get it because I have given birth to Miss Smiley, Miss Easy, Miss Awesome Sleeper, Miss Perfect Baby! I officially love this tiny baby stage. She is so enjoyable and smells so good. I am not sleep deprived and thus sane. I haven’t had to rack my brain to solve any major issues or wonder what is wrong with me or her or both of us.
I am sure some of it has to do with the fact that it must just be easier the second time around. The learning curve isn’t so steep. Also, I have changed so much. I had Lily at 25 and Susannah just a month shy of my now 30. There is a big difference there and I think I am reaping the benefits from the space between them. Likewise, I have perspective to know that even when I break all the baby “rules” or can’t get my baby to “fall in line” with my plan (hmm) that they still turn out to be really amazing 4.5 year olds.
HA! but I don’t even need a plan with this baby she just. . . does her own perfectly amazing plan. What a completely opposite experience this time is! LOVIN’ IT!!!!!!!
The only downside this time around is my own body. I pretty much lost all my weight from Lily in about a week (no lie) and was wearing my jeans right away. This time, however, I still am about ten pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight and about 5 pounds from what I would consider my average weight. I happened to be SUPER skinny just before getting pregnant. So, all that to say. . . I can’t button my jeans at 7 weeks out. Ugh. My favorite item right now – H&M elastic waist jean “leggings.” Yes, they actually make such a thing and they look scary as all get out on the hanger. Thirty years old hurts sometimes.
Today when I asked Lily what she would like to do, she said that she wanted to go to IKEA and look around. I smiled and laughed. Why does she like IKEA so much? I know they have tasty treats, but we can go many places for that. When we arrived, though, I understood. All the rooms put together with tables laid, kitchens with real ovens that are not connected so there is no danger. It is like playing house on a grand scale. We spent quite awhile moving through the different room scenarios while she pretended to cook and clean. Her favorite part was using the ovens to “cook muffins” and then loading the dishes in the dishwasher. I am not sure if this is exactly correct behavior for the store, but Lily is generally very careful and we put everything back. All this IKEA business got me thinking, though, about the difference between Lily’s childhood context and my own. Here are the ones I thought of first:
Me: Pretended to call people on my primary color, rotary phone (with a string you could use to pull it around as well).
Lily: Pretends to send and receive text messages from imaginary friends. ”Ella texted me to let me know she was on her way over.”
Me: I spent many wonderful hours in my room listening to records on my trusty Fisher Price record player – anything from Tina the Ballerina to Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Lily: She knows how to get on the computer and access her specially crafted playlists on Itunes – anything from Veggie Tales to Yoyo Ma playing Bach.
Me: When I wasn’t in school I was usually just playing outside in the front or backyard with my neighborhood friends. I know I must have been taken to a park here and there but not as a way of life.
Lily: We walk to our park on a regular basis to meet up with friends. She also knows the rundown of several city parks that we visit and asks for them for particular reasons. Columbus Square for “our park”, 2nd and Reed for “the splash park”, Rittenhouse for pigeon chasing, Washington Square for the “the shady park”. . . and the list goes on.
Me: I attended your regular Mother’s Day Out programs with nice middle-aged woman and grandmoms in charge. I went to preschool at Briarcrest where we said our Pledge of Allegiance everyday and had some sugary, red juice at snack.
Lily: She attends an artsy preschool that has as many young guy teachers (who are impressive) as they do women. The majority of the teachers have MFAs in a range of things such as Textiles, Vocal Performance, Piano, Painting, and Theater. Lily sings specially composed songs that correspond to the literature they are reading. She comes home singing things like (speaking of the Owl and the Pussycat), “They got the ring from the pig. It was nice, can you dig?” (LOL!) and “. . .with harmonious glee sailing to the palm tree.” Her snack comes fresh from the Italian Market everyday.
Me: I went to school with children named Amanda, Erin, Robert, Courtney etc.
Lily: She goes to school with Zara, Andressa, Niamh, Schuford and Indio. . .
I don’t really know where I am going with this except to say that I am very curious to see how Lily synthesizes all of this.
We may live in Philly but we still bust out our big, southern bows and little, white sweaters.
Me:
